See Ya Later Alligator

This Article is Originally from The Pioneer

Just picture it. Today is the day that you have been waiting for since school began. This year you are in the fourth grade and you can bring your dad to school and show him off on Bring Your Dad to School day. You have been bragging for weeks to all the kids about how cool of a job your dad has, after all how many parents can be a wildlife officer that gets to work with wild animals like alligators and fight them and stuff?

Your dad walks in the class room and asks the teacher if the class can come to the parking lot and see his wild life truck for his presentation. So your teacher instructs the class to make their way to the door quietly, as your father will walk the class to the parking lot to drool over his wild life truck. You can barely wait, you are so excited.

After you get outside, you start hearing your classmates talk about how cool your dad is. Then your dad informs the class that he has an extra surprise. “Today class I have brought with me a real life alligator, to give you an idea of the animals I work with and how dangerous my job is. I will have to ask that you all back away from the truck. After you get a back I will drop the tailgate so you all can see the alligator.”

How great is this? Your dad has gone above the call of duty. He brought a real live alligator to school. You are sure to gain some popularity points. Then your dad drops the tailgate and you hear, “Ohh no, where did he go?! Nobody panic.”

The good news is that officials from Panama City Florida believe that they have found the alligator that escaped from the wildlife officer who brought the animal to his child’s school for show and tell.

Stan Kirkland, spokesman for the Florida wildlife commission, says officials think that the 5-foot alligator is in a Panhandle pond.

Searchers had to comb through a wooded area surrounding the school after the alligator jumped out of the man’s vehicle with its mouth taped shut.

Kirkland says alligators have “amazing” jumping ability and that made it easy for it to escape.

The great news is no one got hurt. The bad news is your dad is no longer welcome at school and from this day forward you are referred to as “Lacoste.” You dread having to wear polo shirts to school and behind your back your hear people talking as if they are the crocodile hunter.

Until next time-BC

Taking a Look at The World of Odd and Unusual Headlines!

The question all students should be asking themselves is: Where do I want to work after college? If you are a hotheaded student like myself and think that at times in life you may question your superior or even cuss at them, Spain is your answer to having the hope of keeping your job.

The Associated Press noted that: “A court in Barcelona says insulting your boss with one particularly foul obscenity is not grounds for dismissal, insisting the slight is common in arguments in Spain and not that big a deal.”

An employee was unhappy with his paycheck and was disputing his case with his superior when things got a little heated. Some of the timeless four letter words were released as vocal ammunition. The boss was not going to take any more verbal abuse, so he fired the employee on the spot.

The employee took his ordeal to the higher powers who decided in his favor. The employer has the option to give the employee his job back or pay him $9,472 in compensation. It is not clear which choice the employer picked.

Just a Little Joy Ride!!!!!

In odd news coming out of Ocala Florida, authorities say a man was charged with driving under the influence while bearing his all in his birthday suit.

The Associated Press stated that a “Marion County deputy was driving on Interstate 75 early Tuesday when he spotted what appeared to be a naked man on a motorcycle. The deputy caught up with 45-year-old J. Dante Krauss at a red light and stopped him.”

It turns out that Krauss was a man of few words and would not tell the officer where he was coming from or where he was headed. He admitted he had been drinking and blew a .08 which was enough to allow him to also ride naked on the inside of a cop car.