Overdue Fees!!!!

New York City’s oldest library has issued a ledger of overdue fees. On that ledger is our first president, George Washington. If President Washington were alive today, he would have some hefty overdue fines. It appears that he checked out two books. One of the books was “Law of Nations” and the other was a volume of debates from “Britain’s House of Commons.” The books were due back on November 2 of 1789. Today, over 200 years later, the institution is willing to wave the late fees if they can only get the books back. I wish them luck with this endeavor.

Hide and Seek?

Police responded to a call that a robbery was in progress at a Maryland convenience store. When police arrived, they found a 20-year-old man dangling from the ventilation system. When the storeowner went to open the store up the morning of the call, he spotted a pair of feet dangling from the ceiling. After firefighters and police freed the 20-year-old man, he explained to cops that this was just a game of hide-and-seek gone wrong. However, then again, if he was really playing hide-and-seek and his friends did not find him, I guess that would make him a winner after all.

Until Next Time Take Care and God Bless -BC

What Happens in the Trailer Park Doesn’t Always Stay in the Trailer Park

So, what happens when you use alcohol to clean your bong and you accidentally spill the alcohol in the floor? Well, you typically go to light your bong to burn the excess alcohol out and then watch the fire trail that runs to the carpet and then quickly up the curtains.

A 30-year-old New Mexico man, who was out of his mind when police arrived, was arrested for allegedly using a marijuana bong to set his mobile home on fire.

The man acknowledged being distraught and suffering from a drug addiction.

One Potato, Two Potato, Three Potato, Four!!!!

There is news from Athens, Alabama as authorities have arrested a man who tried to disguise five ounces of cocaine as a baked potato.

When police searched the car, while it was sitting in a parking lot outside a restaurant, the man claimed that he did not have anything illegal. Investigators searched the car and found a carryout plate with chicken, rice, and what seemed to be a foil-wrapped potato. However, the potato was very white and did not have a skin, or even butter for that matter. The man gave the cops a fake name. We are guessing it was Mr. Potato Head. Nonetheless, as of today, he sits in jail.

-Until next time take care and God Bless -BC

Elmo the Drug Smuggler!!!

Ronald Washington, a 33 year old from Uniontown Pennsylvania, is sitting in jail today on a $100,000 bond. His son, who was in kindergarten, took his marijuana stash to school in his Elmo backpack. Washington called his son’s school and asked if his son had arrived yet. When he was told his son had arrived, he informed the school secretary that he would be right down because he needed to retrieve something from the backpack very quickly.

This caused suspicion, and school officials searched his son’s backpack. They found a stash of nearly four ounces of marijuana, which is close to a quarter pound.

When Washington arrived at the school, troopers were waiting to arrest him. Now, he sits in jail.

That’s Not Grass!!!

In San Diego, Border authorities have arrested a man for trying to cross the border with two lawnmowers. The lawnmowers had bagging systems that were filled with a different type of grass. The grass was actually green ganja, better known as marijuana. He was trying to smuggle a total of 53 pounds across the border.

The unidentified driver was arrested and booked into San Diego county jail on suspicion of drug trafficking.

-Until next time, take care and God Bless -BC

Chexting

Tiger Woods introduced us to it, and Jesse James is also guilty as charged for being involved in today’s chexting era.

It’s a cross between sexting and texting, and it has gotten both stars into a heap of trouble.

Chexting has placed both Woods and James in scandals that have ruined their images by cheating on their wives and having affairs via text messaging.

Yahoo.com reports that “It’s lipstick on the cellular — digital proof that becomes evidence you’ve been unfaithful,’ says Peter Dedman of Predicto Mobile, the largest paid mobile community in America.”

However, James and Woods are not alone. Divorce rates are on the rise and part of the blame can be put on this digital profound convergence of the sinful “Chexting.”

As new technology continues to be unveiled, cheaters everywhere are becoming more creative in their ways of being unfaithful.

So beware of your significant other and their cell phones. Betrayal could be happening before your very eyes. Just keep in mind, they do offer software to revive deleted messages from cell phones.

Put the Money in the Bag, We Will Be There in 5

We start out with a story about two idiots that decided to rob a bank. The first idiot said he would drive the car. The second, who I guess is lazy, decided to call ahead and tell the bank to hurry up and bag up all the money because they were on their way to rob them.

Police arrested 27-year-old Albert Bailey and an unidentified 16-year-old boy on robbery and threatening charges Tuesday afternoon at a People’s United Bank branch in Fairfield Connecticut.

I’m sure you have already guessed the ending to this story, but here is how it ended just in case you have not. The two suspects showed up at the bank about 10 minutes after making the phone call, only to be met by police and taken into custody. Just goes to show, some people are just not the sharpest knifes in the drawer.

He Broke into the Jail

There is a story coming your way from Miami Florida where a man has been sentenced to 15 years in prison after he tried to break into the Brevard County Detention Center.

25 year old Sylvester Jiles had recently been released from jail following a manslaughter conviction. He feared for his life because he believed family members of the manslaughter victim was out to get him.

Therefore, he attempted to break back into the jail where he thought he would be safe. Most of the time you hear of people trying to break out of jail, not in.

For Sale: Stolen Merchandise

News coming your way today from Kennewick, Washington, where a 17-year old burglar shows us just how stupid some people really are. This 17-year-old kid broke into Bella Office Furniture and then hung out on the property for roughly 5 hours. While enjoy his breaking and entering, he decided to hop on the store’s computer and look at some porn, and, of course, he had to check for notifications on his Myspace and Facebook pages. He even listed some of the stolen items to the World Wide Web as items for sale. Too bad for him, the cops checked the history on the computers and his login information sent the cops right to him.

The name of the 17 year old could not be released, yet he is charged with first degree burglary.

Detour To Heaven!!!

A New York man’s journey to the Pearly Gates was held up in New York City’s impound lot. Parking Police had a van towed for being parked illegally. The only problem was that the van was carrying a body. The van was parked outside Redden’s Funeral Home and was supposed transport the body to Newark for a flight.

When the driver of the van came back to where the van had been left, he thought someone had stolen the van with the cargo inside. It was not until 90 minutes later that he found out that it had been towed to an impound lot.

New York City waived the $185 release fee.

That’s Not the Bugs Bunny I Remembered!!!!

Children in North Carolina are confused today. They are trying to figure out why someone would change the image of Bugs Bunny into a pink bunny. Even more so, they are curious as to why grown women were in compromised positions and saying things that they cannot understand. The children are asking these questions because Time Warner Cable screwed up in a very huge way.

“Young viewers of children’s television programs in North Carolina got a glimpse of something far more risque than their favorite cartoons, when a cable glitch broadcast two hours of the Playboy channel,” stated Yahoo.com.

“Due to a technical malfunction, some adult programs had been diverted on children’s networks,” Time Warner Cable vice president of public relations Alex Dudley told AFP on Wednesday.

“We sincerely apologize.”

The glitch happened between 6:15 and 8:15am on Tuesday on what was supposed to be the Kids on Demand and Preschool on Demand channels.

Time Warner Cable reported that parents had called in to complain and brought the problem to their attention.

Baby, is that you? NO!!!

A cold and drunk man broke into a Pittsburgh home Wednesday morning after being out all night drinking following a Jay-Z concert. It appears that at 5:30 a.m. a 33-year old male broke into the house and then climbed into the bed, unaware that he would be in the bed with the owner of the house.

The owner of the house, Frank Fontana, was not alarmed at first, because he thought it was a lady friend of his who had an extra set of keys to his house. It wasn’t until he asked if she was doing alright and heard a deep rusty voice say “No,” that he became alarmed. He claims he jumped out of the bed and grabbed a baseball bat and held the drunken man until police arrived.

The 33-year-old man faces a preliminary hearing on charges of criminal mischief and criminal trespass.

Well, This Doesn’t Smell Like Gas!!!

When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home recently, he got much more than he had bargained for. Police caught a man next to a motor home trying to steal

gasoline. However, he had plugged his hose into the motor home’s sewage tank by mistake. I wonder if he figured out why it did not taste like gas.

Ronald McDonald Arrested For Pot

Police arrested Ronald McDonald, not the clown from McDonalds, but rather a real life person for possession of marijuana and allowing others to use drugs at his residence on Sunday.

According to police, officers responded to the 44-year-old’s residence after receiving a report of a suspicious odor. Outside McDonald’s residence, officers could smell a strong odor of marijuana coming from the residence.

This story would have been funny if it would have been Ronald McDonald the clown. Then we would have known what the Hamburglar was always after.

He Was Not Relieved After All.

A man from Montesano, Washington is dead after a freak accident. “Grays Harbor County sheriff’s Deputy Dave Pimentel said Monday 50-year-old Roy Messenger was not seriously hurt after he collided with a power pole Friday and called a relative to pull his car from a ditch.”

After family members arrived, they found him dead at the scene with his pants undone.

Apparently 50-year-old Roy Messenger needed to relieve himself and did so by urinating into the roadside ditch. The only problem was that when he hit the power pole, he had caused the live power line to fall into the ditch, which he urinated into. The urine stream likely served as a conductor, allowing the electricity to reach his body. Electrocution was the cause of death.

I Guess He Showed Them!!!

An Ohio man bulldozed his $350,000 home to keep a bank from foreclosing on it. Terry Hoskins was tired of dealing with the bank and the IRS. The IRS had placed liens on his carpet store and commercial property and the bank claimed his house as collateral.

Hoskins owed $160,000 on the house. After hiring attorneys and arguing back and forth between both sides, Hoskins decided to get the last word so he bulldozed the house.

As of today, no charges are pending.

I Guess He Showed Them Too!!!

A teacher from Cliff, New Mexico taped over the wrong tape when he recorded a program off the history channel about the 1919 Treaty of Versailles.

He had left the video for his students to view with a substitute teacher whom was overseeing the class.

In the middle of the viewing, the program about the 1919 Treaty stopped, and porn began. Turns out the teacher had taped over one of his most prized possessions.

The Superintendent Dick Pool (what a great name) will not disclose if any action was taken against the teacher.

Being Kicked To The Curb In The Digital World!!!

With the help of Web 2.0 applications such as Facebook and MySpace, digital dumping is on the rise.

“Over one third of 2,000 people polled (34 percent) said they had ended a relationship by email, 13 percent had changed their status on Facebook without telling their partners and six percent had released the news unilaterally on Twitter” (Yahoo.com).

Yet, only two percent had broken up by text message.

“The rest had split up the old-fashioned way by face-to-face conversation (38 percent) and by telephone (eight percent)” (Yahoo.com).

Talk About Sticking The Landing!!!

Take a moment with me here to breathe in slowly. As you exhale, clear your mind as we now envision the Olympics many years down the road. It is here we find men all gathered around their television sets watching with dedication as they support their nation is this years newest Olympic event.

As you look at the television to find out what this new sport is, you hear the announcer introducing team USA “And now team USA makes their way down to center stage where their team captain Jiggles is about to paint a pretty picture. Come down and gather round where you can congregate and appreciate this team’s dedication. Jiggles is performing her first of two songs”

An announcer describes that Jiggles looks beautiful wearing the stars and stripes as she performs to the Star Spangled Banner.

As of today, girls who go by the names of Cookie, Cinnamon, and Candy are glued to their television sets by day, and are mastering the art of their sport by night. Envisioning the day they can bring home gold for their country. These girls know how to train as they do it 5 hours a day and five nights a week. The pole is no longer looked at as being exclusive property of strip clubs, but now as a respectable and highly athletic event.

Many girls are petitioning for this sport but they still have a lot of work ahead of them. Other respected sports, such as squash and cricket have failed to make the Olympic cut.

MSNBC stated, “Hong Kong-based Ania Przeplasko, the founder of the International Pole Dancing Fitness Association, the sport’s fledgling supervisory body, believes Olympic recognition is only a matter of time and would be a victory for underappreciated sports worldwide.

“There will be a day when the Olympics see pole dancing as a sport,” she said. “The Olympic community needs to acknowledge the number of people doing pole fitness now. We’re shooting for 2012.””

It is already too late for any new sports to be added to the London Games. However, the IOC’s decision to end its support of exhibition sports after Barcelona has not completely closed the door on Olympic hopefuls looking for a way to showcase their skills

Pole dance advocates note that more unlikely sports have gotten the IOC’s nod such as tug-a-war.

So far, the petition has about 4,000 signatures.They are shooting for 5,000.

As far-fetched as this may seem, this reporter has to admit, what other sport out there could an athlete not only bring home gold for their country, but also numerous types of currency as their tip?

Until Next Time-BC

Stolen Meat Wagon!!!

In Madison Wisconsin, authorities say a 24-year-old drunken man stole a vehicle. After stealing the vehicle, he drove it around the parking lot where he had stolen the vehicle from multiple times before being stopped and then taken into custody.

So what type of vehicle? It was none other than an ambulance, better known as the “Meat Wagon.” The best part of the story is that emergency responders were treating a patient in the back of the ambulance during the time of the theft. No one was hurt and the 24-year-old now awaits his day in court.

Wake up and Smell the Roses!!!!

This week, as flower companies everywhere prepare for Valentine’s Day, officials found 20 pounds of cocaine at the Amsterdam airport. The cocaine had been hidden in over 20,000 roses that had arrived from Latin America.

The drug was in cellophane packets that were hidden inside boxes containing the roses. Three people were taken into custody as well as the seized shipment.

It has to make you wonder what would have happened if one of the cellophane packs, had broken. What would have happened if some one somewhere had wanted to smell the roses?

Flyin High!!!

This Article is originally From The Pioneer

Odd news coming to us from up above, as 30-year-old Kinman Chan was flying with US Airways from Philadelphia to Los Angeles on Sunday when he began screaming in the restroom. He then fought the crew members who tried to get him to sit down.

The flight was then diverted to Pittsburgh International Airport for an emergency landing, where Chan was arrested and jailed until a federal magistrate freed him on bond Tuesday.

While being interrogated, Chan came clean as he blamed his outburst on medical marijuana cookies. It appears they just tasted so good that he ate too many. He was just so high that he had forgotten the reason that he felt like he was flying, was because he was actually flying.

After all, he was on a US Air Flight, where you can “Get on Board” with “Clear Sky’s Ahead” as “Together We Fly.”

Good Afternoon Officer what seems to be the problem!!!

A 61- one year old was pulled over for violating the high-occupancy lane of the Long Island Expressway. Turns out she was pulled over after a police officer realized that her passenger had no arms. After further examination, police discovered that her passenger was a mannequin.

The officer said the giveaway was the face. The mannequin was wearing sunglasses and had the sun visor down on a cloudy day.

When he stopped the vehicle, he found the mannequin fully dressed with a long dark wig, blazer, shirt and scarf.

The 61-year-old driver left with a $135 traffic fine and with her “not so cheap” date. -Until Next Time Take Care -BC

Class of 2010

This Article is from The Pioneer

At Cypress Ridge High School in Texas, some students wore t-shirts that spelled out “C-L-A-S-S –o-f – 2-1-1-0”. They wore them in the front row of a group shot of more than 600 seniors. This led to the suspension of three students.

As it turns out, right before the camera was able to snap the photo, the letters “C” and “L” went missing in action, leaving behind an offensive yet humorous three letter word.

The school was not nearly as humored as the students were. The administration cited the school’s code of conduct and suspended the three students that wore the 3 letter word. Each student was also fined $150 to go towards retaking the photo. The students claim it was not their fault. It was letters “C” and “L” that should be punished.

So let this be a lesson to all that when pulling a prank, it has to be so well thought out, that after the damage is done that the innocent bystanders will receive the punishment for your actions. But then again, for the rest of your life, you will be known as the guy that when it comes to “Class” will always be minus the letters “C” and “L.”

Casper the Magic Cat

Did you hear about the cat in the UK? Every day it went to the bus stop, waited in line, and then rode the bus until being dropped back off at its stop.

This is true. The cats name is “Casper” and most everyone claimed that “Casper” was magical. The cat gained national attention for his daily adventures.

But Casper’s bus riding days came to an end last week. In his excitement to get to the bus, he forgot to look both ways before crossing the road and was killed by a hit and run driver in his hometown of Plymouth, England.

Casper was 12 years old.

Odd News from under the Boarder

In Mexico City the police are celebrating the rescue of 150 unharmed hostages following a car accident from a high speed chase. During the chase, the vehicle lost control and struck a tree. Two suspects were placed under arrest while a third suspect was able to escape.

So how in the world could they pack 150 hostages in one car?

Well, police in Mexico City stated “we were able to rescue the 150 hostages from the armed robbers and none of the hostages were harmed or injured, so we then turned the hostages whom were ferrets over to a veterinarian.”

This odd news reporter has no clue why anyone would ever want to steal a ferret, but I guess to each his own. Until Next Time -BC