Mary Jane and Jonny Depp

This article is originally from The Pioneer

I understand that drugs alter your mindset and at times cause you to make bad decisions. I am aware that marijuana can affect your memory, but even I was not aware that being high could make you plum stupid.

A 32-year-old man and 29-year old woman were arrested after calling the police to report that they were robbed, while they were high. Upon arrival the police found a trail of pot from the apartment door to the parking lot that the robbers had dropped on their getaway. The police found more inside their Wichita apartment late Monday night.

The couple was booked on suspicion of various drug charges, including selling drugs within 1,000 feet of a school.

Sexiest Man Alive

Peoples magazine’s Sexiest Man Alive was announced this week, and to my dismay, I was not even in the running this year. The crowning goes to none other than “Pirates of the Caribbean” star Johnny Depp, reclaiming a title he first won in 2003.

Past winners include Matt Damon in 2007, George Clooney in 2006, Matthew McConaughey in 2005, Jude Law in 2004, Ben Affleck in 2002, Pierce Brosnan in 2001 and Brad Pitt in 2000. Until next time-BC

Odd But Worthy Headlines!!!

Taking a look at those odd but worthy headlines, first we travel down under where we find a man who shows us just how dumb some criminals can be. It is here we find a 35 year old man who was caught red handed as he tried to break into a shopping center.

Earlier in the night, he had already successfully broken into a pharmacy and stolen a bunch of prescription pills. Maybe he had taken a pill or two who knows, but none the less the reason the cops caught him was because as he was picking the lock he just fell asleep. All robbers should know better than taking naps on the job. It never looks good on your record. T

he man was charged with driving without a license, burglary, and attempted burglary.

I Am Not a Big Fan of That Picture

Next we travel to the UK where 23-year-old Matthew Maynard was wanted by police officers investigating a house burglary as part of a crackdown on crime. The police had the local newspaper print his mug shot as part of the public appeal to track him down.

We guess Maynard did not like his mug shot all that well, as he sent a picture of better quality to the newspaper. He asked if they would be kind enough to reprint it. The picture had him standing in front of a police van. They obligingly printed it on the front page. As of today he is still on the run, but now everyone can enjoy his sense of quality in photojournalism.

Money Can’t Buy Good Grades?

Next we will jump back to North Carolina where we ask the question, “Who said money can’t buy good grades?” A middle school in North Carolina is selling test scores to students in a bid to raise money. The News & Observer of Raleigh reported that “a parent advisory council at Rosewood Middle School in Goldsboro came up with the fundraising plan after last year’s chocolate sale flopped.”

The school will sell 20 test points to students for $20.

Now if we could only talk some college professors into following in their footsteps.

See Ya Later Alligator

This Article is Originally from The Pioneer

Just picture it. Today is the day that you have been waiting for since school began. This year you are in the fourth grade and you can bring your dad to school and show him off on Bring Your Dad to School day. You have been bragging for weeks to all the kids about how cool of a job your dad has, after all how many parents can be a wildlife officer that gets to work with wild animals like alligators and fight them and stuff?

Your dad walks in the class room and asks the teacher if the class can come to the parking lot and see his wild life truck for his presentation. So your teacher instructs the class to make their way to the door quietly, as your father will walk the class to the parking lot to drool over his wild life truck. You can barely wait, you are so excited.

After you get outside, you start hearing your classmates talk about how cool your dad is. Then your dad informs the class that he has an extra surprise. “Today class I have brought with me a real life alligator, to give you an idea of the animals I work with and how dangerous my job is. I will have to ask that you all back away from the truck. After you get a back I will drop the tailgate so you all can see the alligator.”

How great is this? Your dad has gone above the call of duty. He brought a real live alligator to school. You are sure to gain some popularity points. Then your dad drops the tailgate and you hear, “Ohh no, where did he go?! Nobody panic.”

The good news is that officials from Panama City Florida believe that they have found the alligator that escaped from the wildlife officer who brought the animal to his child’s school for show and tell.

Stan Kirkland, spokesman for the Florida wildlife commission, says officials think that the 5-foot alligator is in a Panhandle pond.

Searchers had to comb through a wooded area surrounding the school after the alligator jumped out of the man’s vehicle with its mouth taped shut.

Kirkland says alligators have “amazing” jumping ability and that made it easy for it to escape.

The great news is no one got hurt. The bad news is your dad is no longer welcome at school and from this day forward you are referred to as “Lacoste.” You dread having to wear polo shirts to school and behind your back your hear people talking as if they are the crocodile hunter.

Until next time-BC

It Makes You Wanna Flip Monkey!!!!

This Article is originally From The Pioneer

At one point or another in life we have all heard the rumors and the speculation that man and primate could be closer to one another than we ever thought or imagined. Some people think this is crazy talk while others seem to feel as if this is the way of reality. Whatever you believe, just think what if?

Have you ever been to the zoo and stood in awe at the monkey exhibit? Here you will find primates who have been taken out of their habitat and brought in for your pure entertainment and education. It is here that you can witness one of the craziest things you will ever set your eyes on. The monkey belting out a scream at the top of his lungs as he poops in his hand, and within the blink of an eye, throws it like a fast ball at whomever and whatever it likes. It is at this moment you crack a smile in disgust, but at the same time questioning what if.

How cool would it be to just scream at the top of your lungs and then flip monkey on somebody? Really, take a moment and just envision it.

This brings us to Weusi McGowan, who was recently being held on trial for a home-invasion robbery. McGowan had asked for a mistrial because he believed jurors had seen him in restraints when he entered the courtroom.

McGowan’s attorneys were trying for the mistrial, stating that their client suffered from mental illness.

Several days after his request was denied McGowan literally flipped monkey in the court room, as he pulled out a bag of excrement he had hidden in his clothing, rubbed it on his lawyer and then flung it at the jury.

It turns out that, a person throwing feces is not nearly as amusing as a monkey throwing feces, as the judge sentenced McGowan to 31 years in prison.

And One For the Boot!!!!

In Brussels Belgium they had battled over the case of the missing shoe. Police said that a shoe store reported that a man had entered a store and stolen one shoe. This led the police to look for an obvious suspect; a man whom had only one leg. Police reported that the shoe was returned back to the original store.

The suspect, a Russian asylum seeker, faces possible charges and was handed over to judicial authorities.

Until Next Time-BC