Mary Jane and Jonny Depp

This article is originally from The Pioneer

I understand that drugs alter your mindset and at times cause you to make bad decisions. I am aware that marijuana can affect your memory, but even I was not aware that being high could make you plum stupid.

A 32-year-old man and 29-year old woman were arrested after calling the police to report that they were robbed, while they were high. Upon arrival the police found a trail of pot from the apartment door to the parking lot that the robbers had dropped on their getaway. The police found more inside their Wichita apartment late Monday night.

The couple was booked on suspicion of various drug charges, including selling drugs within 1,000 feet of a school.

Sexiest Man Alive

Peoples magazine’s Sexiest Man Alive was announced this week, and to my dismay, I was not even in the running this year. The crowning goes to none other than “Pirates of the Caribbean” star Johnny Depp, reclaiming a title he first won in 2003.

Past winners include Matt Damon in 2007, George Clooney in 2006, Matthew McConaughey in 2005, Jude Law in 2004, Ben Affleck in 2002, Pierce Brosnan in 2001 and Brad Pitt in 2000. Until next time-BC

Odd But Worthy Headlines!!!

Taking a look at those odd but worthy headlines, first we travel down under where we find a man who shows us just how dumb some criminals can be. It is here we find a 35 year old man who was caught red handed as he tried to break into a shopping center.

Earlier in the night, he had already successfully broken into a pharmacy and stolen a bunch of prescription pills. Maybe he had taken a pill or two who knows, but none the less the reason the cops caught him was because as he was picking the lock he just fell asleep. All robbers should know better than taking naps on the job. It never looks good on your record. T

he man was charged with driving without a license, burglary, and attempted burglary.

I Am Not a Big Fan of That Picture

Next we travel to the UK where 23-year-old Matthew Maynard was wanted by police officers investigating a house burglary as part of a crackdown on crime. The police had the local newspaper print his mug shot as part of the public appeal to track him down.

We guess Maynard did not like his mug shot all that well, as he sent a picture of better quality to the newspaper. He asked if they would be kind enough to reprint it. The picture had him standing in front of a police van. They obligingly printed it on the front page. As of today he is still on the run, but now everyone can enjoy his sense of quality in photojournalism.

Money Can’t Buy Good Grades?

Next we will jump back to North Carolina where we ask the question, “Who said money can’t buy good grades?” A middle school in North Carolina is selling test scores to students in a bid to raise money. The News & Observer of Raleigh reported that “a parent advisory council at Rosewood Middle School in Goldsboro came up with the fundraising plan after last year’s chocolate sale flopped.”

The school will sell 20 test points to students for $20.

Now if we could only talk some college professors into following in their footsteps.

See Ya Later Alligator

This Article is Originally from The Pioneer

Just picture it. Today is the day that you have been waiting for since school began. This year you are in the fourth grade and you can bring your dad to school and show him off on Bring Your Dad to School day. You have been bragging for weeks to all the kids about how cool of a job your dad has, after all how many parents can be a wildlife officer that gets to work with wild animals like alligators and fight them and stuff?

Your dad walks in the class room and asks the teacher if the class can come to the parking lot and see his wild life truck for his presentation. So your teacher instructs the class to make their way to the door quietly, as your father will walk the class to the parking lot to drool over his wild life truck. You can barely wait, you are so excited.

After you get outside, you start hearing your classmates talk about how cool your dad is. Then your dad informs the class that he has an extra surprise. “Today class I have brought with me a real life alligator, to give you an idea of the animals I work with and how dangerous my job is. I will have to ask that you all back away from the truck. After you get a back I will drop the tailgate so you all can see the alligator.”

How great is this? Your dad has gone above the call of duty. He brought a real live alligator to school. You are sure to gain some popularity points. Then your dad drops the tailgate and you hear, “Ohh no, where did he go?! Nobody panic.”

The good news is that officials from Panama City Florida believe that they have found the alligator that escaped from the wildlife officer who brought the animal to his child’s school for show and tell.

Stan Kirkland, spokesman for the Florida wildlife commission, says officials think that the 5-foot alligator is in a Panhandle pond.

Searchers had to comb through a wooded area surrounding the school after the alligator jumped out of the man’s vehicle with its mouth taped shut.

Kirkland says alligators have “amazing” jumping ability and that made it easy for it to escape.

The great news is no one got hurt. The bad news is your dad is no longer welcome at school and from this day forward you are referred to as “Lacoste.” You dread having to wear polo shirts to school and behind your back your hear people talking as if they are the crocodile hunter.

Until next time-BC

It Makes You Wanna Flip Monkey!!!!

This Article is originally From The Pioneer

At one point or another in life we have all heard the rumors and the speculation that man and primate could be closer to one another than we ever thought or imagined. Some people think this is crazy talk while others seem to feel as if this is the way of reality. Whatever you believe, just think what if?

Have you ever been to the zoo and stood in awe at the monkey exhibit? Here you will find primates who have been taken out of their habitat and brought in for your pure entertainment and education. It is here that you can witness one of the craziest things you will ever set your eyes on. The monkey belting out a scream at the top of his lungs as he poops in his hand, and within the blink of an eye, throws it like a fast ball at whomever and whatever it likes. It is at this moment you crack a smile in disgust, but at the same time questioning what if.

How cool would it be to just scream at the top of your lungs and then flip monkey on somebody? Really, take a moment and just envision it.

This brings us to Weusi McGowan, who was recently being held on trial for a home-invasion robbery. McGowan had asked for a mistrial because he believed jurors had seen him in restraints when he entered the courtroom.

McGowan’s attorneys were trying for the mistrial, stating that their client suffered from mental illness.

Several days after his request was denied McGowan literally flipped monkey in the court room, as he pulled out a bag of excrement he had hidden in his clothing, rubbed it on his lawyer and then flung it at the jury.

It turns out that, a person throwing feces is not nearly as amusing as a monkey throwing feces, as the judge sentenced McGowan to 31 years in prison.

And One For the Boot!!!!

In Brussels Belgium they had battled over the case of the missing shoe. Police said that a shoe store reported that a man had entered a store and stolen one shoe. This led the police to look for an obvious suspect; a man whom had only one leg. Police reported that the shoe was returned back to the original store.

The suspect, a Russian asylum seeker, faces possible charges and was handed over to judicial authorities.

Until Next Time-BC

Elvis’s Hair Has Left the Building

Just imagine it. A room full of loyal collectors, all of whom have looked forward to this day forever. The chance of getting their hands on a new collectible to add to their collection is staring them in the face. All they want is a collectible of the King.

All day long, they anticipate getting the collectible that they can sit on the coffee table. When company comes over this collectible will be the centerpiece. It will open conversation with friends and family.

The Auctioneer announces, “The next item for bid is a pile of hair believed to be the King himself Elvis Presley’s. Cut from the Kings head when he joined the U.S. Army in 1958.”

It sounds crazy does it not. How crazy? The price on crazy is $18,300 to be exact. The kicker is that it may or may not have been Elvis’s hair.

The auctioneer said the hair was given to Pepper too be mailed out to Presley fans. No DNA test was carried out on the hair, but the auctioneer quoted “an expert in celebrity hair authentication,” John Reznikoff, stated it matched the Elvis hair he has in his collection.

No details of the winning bidder were immediately available. Nevertheless, just know if you ever enter as house and you see a lock of hair on the coffee table, you may or may not be in the presence of a hunk a hunk of dead man’s hair.

In Dumber News

In Reno Nevada, a 50-year-old man was stopped for drinking and driving for the third time in less than three weeks.

Reno Police Sgt. Tom Robinson said the man was stopped after a concerned citizen alerted police about his erratic driving. He was then sent back to jail for a third time.

More of Unusual headlines!!!

So what does it take to get sentenced to two years probation, a psychological evaluation and community service?

A Portland man attacked his ex-girlfriend, after she broke up with him. Sarah Harris had broken up with 27 year old Donald Earl Fite III by phone. When she returned to her Portland apartment she found him lying on her bed pleading to work things out.

Harris tried to leave, but Fite shoved her against a wall, grabbed her hair and tossed her against a bathtub. Harris broke away and when she returned with a police officer she found her bright purple betta fish named “DeLorean” on the floor with a knife through it.

According to court records, Fite quickly admitted killing the fish, telling police: “If she can’t have me, then she can’t have the fish.”

Fite pleaded guilty to animal abuse and domestic violence assault.

The Associated Press reported that “Fite’s attorney, Tom Macnair, said that killing the fish was a “very low point” in his client’s life.”He is absolutely mortified and ashamed about what he did to the fish,” MacNair said in Multnomah County Circuit Court.”

And Just when you Thought Things Couldn’t get Weirder!!!!

The Associated Press also stated “Prosecutor Eric Zimmerman told Judge Eric Bergstrom that Harris plans to get a memorial tattoo of the fish and wanted Fite to pay for it. Bergstrom, however, declined to make Fite pay restitution for the tattoo.”

The judge put a restraining order against Fite ordering him to stay away from Harris, but said he could still have contact with fish.

Woman calls police to report theft:

Next let’s travel to Brant Township, Michigan where we learn that they are limits to being a crime victim.

A 54-year-old woman was arrested early Sunday after reporting two men had broken into her home in Brant Township.

The Associated Press reported that “Detective Sgt. Randy F. Pfau said the woman told deputies the men fled after one of them demanded her marijuana plants. He said the woman then was booked on charges of manufacturing and delivering marijuana.”

However she was not charged for being stupid. Until Next time -BC

Taking a Look at The World of Odd and Unusual Headlines!

The question all students should be asking themselves is: Where do I want to work after college? If you are a hotheaded student like myself and think that at times in life you may question your superior or even cuss at them, Spain is your answer to having the hope of keeping your job.

The Associated Press noted that: “A court in Barcelona says insulting your boss with one particularly foul obscenity is not grounds for dismissal, insisting the slight is common in arguments in Spain and not that big a deal.”

An employee was unhappy with his paycheck and was disputing his case with his superior when things got a little heated. Some of the timeless four letter words were released as vocal ammunition. The boss was not going to take any more verbal abuse, so he fired the employee on the spot.

The employee took his ordeal to the higher powers who decided in his favor. The employer has the option to give the employee his job back or pay him $9,472 in compensation. It is not clear which choice the employer picked.

Just a Little Joy Ride!!!!!

In odd news coming out of Ocala Florida, authorities say a man was charged with driving under the influence while bearing his all in his birthday suit.

The Associated Press stated that a “Marion County deputy was driving on Interstate 75 early Tuesday when he spotted what appeared to be a naked man on a motorcycle. The deputy caught up with 45-year-old J. Dante Krauss at a red light and stopped him.”

It turns out that Krauss was a man of few words and would not tell the officer where he was coming from or where he was headed. He admitted he had been drinking and blew a .08 which was enough to allow him to also ride naked on the inside of a cop car.

Odd But Worthy News

“Kids These Days”

In Wyoming, police say that a large SUV led officers on a high speed chase reaching speeds of 100 mph. The chase started about 3 A.M., Tuesday central Wyoming, and ended 50 miles later.

Turns out the driver decided it would be a nice night to get all boozed up and head out for a midnight ride. The catch though was that the driver was an 11-year old boy.

After being chased the boy ditched the vehicle, jumped into a lake and began swimming. He eventually returned to shore where police collared him.

“Love Hurts”

A 52- year old woman told her significant other that she wasn’t in the mood; and she meant it. The 52-year old woman was booked Thursday morning with domestic battery after telling police that she cut her boyfriend for trying to have sex with her.

The Associated Press reported that “the woman’s boyfriend claimed she cut him with a knife when they got into an argument, and police saw a 4-inch gash on his left arm along with several small cuts and scratches.”

I am guessing the moral to this story is no means no.

“When you got to go, you got to go”